WORDS
Words are tiring. Tiresome. I can hate them. Well, sometimes I do. I can imagine a world without words. Yep. No need to exchange blabbers. In general, words cause more pain and frustration and confunsion, then they can account for. I can imagine a world with just silence, or even better, just music.
I wish, all my thoughts were wordless. In a way, maybe that’s why I ended up as an engineer. Or maybe it is some other accident. I wish sometimes, my thoughts would stop forever. This cancer of ideas upon ideas, of one after the other, could disappear. Farewell my darling. I am indeed grateful I can love without words, I can experience life without the need for them. Nor for cameras, nor for recorders, no need. Memories are not painful, they are distracting, garbage. It so much more fun when you keep forgetting everything and have to relearn it all. Without words or memory, or verbalized memories, life is always fresh and new.
Unfortunately, I still have words. Bla, bla bla. Who knows, maybe, through a heaven’s gift, they shall leave me for a while. Not disappear completely. Just leave for a while. In fact, to be frank, I still love to see words on a piece of paper, as long as they don’t come into my mind. As long as they seem a senseless collection of mambo-jambo, or serve some purpose unrelated to experience and life (aka who knows, maybe to describe a nice “theory”). And yes, if words died, I am sure Dostoievski would go with them. I would be sad for that. But I will tell you, he would be a lot happier man!
Hey, don’t take all of this too seriously. Its just the end of the year message from Cataplum!